Summer Fun

Finn and Jack came over on Thursday to hang out.  Finn is getting so good at crawling and likes to come after my chair.  Jack is at the age now where he is starting to throw temper tantrums and the only solution is Dora.  Both of them become fixated on the screen whenever Dora is on, no need for a babysitter.  I like having them come over but it can be chaos when they are here... in a good way!  Whenever they are about to leave, Jack comes and gives me a high five. It's the best!

On Saturday I went to the mall and bought a new bed.   I am very happy to be rid of the hospital bed that I don't even fit on and my arms get caught in the safety rails.  I also picked up a bunch of shoes at Journey's for my fundraiser on August 17th. I am planning on signing them all (hopefully someone will want to buy them!)

The weekend ended well with Linds and I having a little Sunday Funday.  We went to Boston's where we had dinner and lost all of our money in pull tabs.  It was a perfect night to sit outside and enjoy the weather and a few drinks.  Afterwards we went to Friday's and said hi to some of Lindsay's friends that bar tend.  They did a few tricks for us and we met some really nice and fun people (aka some crazy drunks). 

Today was a big day for me.  I went to Courage Center and decided to try out the standing frame.  I tried the standing frame at Craig Hospital two times before.  I was unable to even sit flat for more than five minutes because my blood pressure is very hard to control.  I get the feeling that I am very light-headed and about to pass out.  However, today I was able to get to a 55 degree angle!  The only reason I didn't go higher was because I ran out of time.  The standing frame is great for improving bone density, blood flow, and muscle tone.  Once my legs straightened, I could feel the circulation to my legs and it felt great. My goal is to get to a 90 degree angle and I believe I will achieve that in the near future.

I hope that everyone else had a great weekend!

A New Week

This week has started off great.  I had been planning on getting my girlfriend Lindsay something special for the last few weeks and I finally was able to do that yesterday.  I surprised her when she came over after work.  I had a bracelet from Tiffany's waiting for her in the kitchen and then before we left for her house for dinner I surprised her with another gift, a necklace from Tiffany's hiding in my room.

I had a great night over at the Werder's house.  I was able to use the new ramp I just purchased online and it worked out perfect. 

As most of you know, I have spent a lot of time at The Courage Center since I have been home.  I go there about three times a week for Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy.  Today I got to try out the FES arm bike.  For all who don't know, this is a machine that has six electrodes for each arm and they are carefully placed on my triceps, front shoulders, upper back, etc. I have the ability to push the arm pedals myself, but the electrodes enhance the muscles that I am using.  The lady working with me told me that the longest she has seen anyone go on the arm bike their first time was 15 minutes and today I went 24!!!  I was very impressed with how the machine works, it has been the hardest workout I have done so far.  When I was done with the 24 minutes I was literally unable to lift my arms.  They felt like 100 lbs each.

Everyone has their good days and bad days.  Luckily for me I have been able to have a long string of good days.  Each day brings new challenges everyone faces them with a different approach and lately I have felt successful.

How it all came to be...

It was a regular day.  I had just gotten off work and I was looking for something to do.  I got a message from a buddy asking me if I wanted to go to a friend's cabin with him for the night.  I was excited because it was something out of the ordinary and about seven of my friends were going to be there. 

Once we arrived, we checked out the cabin and started playing games.  Later on in the night, me and a buddy decided to take a dip in the lake.  I remember throwing my suit on and stepping down the stairs.  I then ran down the dock, remember looking at a boat launch to the side of me, thinking that the water was deep enough.  I was the first one to reach the end of the dock and dove in.

For the next couple of seconds I must have blacked out. When I finally came to I was face down in the water unable to move my limbs, sucking in water through my nose and wishing it was air.  It was very confusing and frustrating to me to not be able to move anything.  My friend Tony jumped in the water and attempted to pull me up onto the dock. He said that the only reason he saw me in the dark water was because I was wearing white swim trunks. 

Once up on the dock, I remember a friend telling me to quit playing around as I told him that I couldn't move my limbs or feel my body.  I asked for a towel to put under my neck because I was extreme pain only in my neck.  Everything from that point on gets pretty blurry for me. 

Until I got to the ICU.  My dad was there when I arrived and I remember looking up to him and telling him multiple times that I was sorry and that it was a long dock.  My mom and sister were rushing back from girl's weekend at the cabin. For some reason I remember that it was a struggle for the staff to take my contacts out.  Honestly, hours are lost from that point on.

After my surgery, I awoke only to have a large tube down my throat that I desperately wanted to yank out.  I kept moving it around with my tongue as the nurses yelled at me to leave it alone.  That tube stayed in for a week.  They told me I was going to get a trache put in and that it would be less painful. 

As I became more coherent, the first thing a nurse told me was that I would only ever be able to shrug my shoulders and that I would be dependant on a ventilator to breathe for the rest of my life.  That is when it really hit me that my injury was serious and that this was really happening to me. 

It was very frustrating when people came to visit me because I couldn't communicate with them, swallow, eat, drink, or move anything but my face.  Over and over I had family and friends come into my room, see me, cry, and tell me to hang in there.  I wanted to say thank you to every person that visited but I wasn't physically capable.  I later learned a system of communication by clicking my tongue against my cheek.  This was extremely frustrating for me and my family. 

We watched every movie you could think of for the rest of my time in the ICU.  The decision was then made to move me to Craig Hospital in Colorado for rehabilitation. 

I had no idea what my future would hold.

Me in the ICU

Time spent in ICU: 3.5 weeks

One Year

Today marked the one year "anniversary" of my life-changing accident. I thought today would be a lot harder than it was. Instead of dwelling on the past, we all celebrated how far I have come. I owe thanks to my parents for being there for me during the bad days and the good ones. My sister and bro-in-law have given me endless support and love. Without my family, I would not be where I am today. I also feel lucky to have such amazing friends.

The day started off with my girlfriend, Lindsay, coming over to spend this very important day with me. Even though we have only been dating a short while, she is a big part of my life.

Tom (bro-in-law), Molly (sister), Jack and Finn (nephews) also came over for a feast of lobster and king crab legs. Everyone decided that today should be a day to be celebrated instead of a day of sorrow. The day was spent enjoying good food and good company.

As the day came and went, I sat wondering when the moment was going to come where I would break down remembering last year's tragedy. At about 9:15 pm, my mom brought me the computer and told me to watch the video on the screen.

That was the moment.

As I watched the slide show of my progress over the last year, I was overcome with sadness, pride, and joy. The pictures in the beginning of the slide show brought me back to hell. It was extremely hard to look at but it was my reality at that time. Seeing where I was a year ago, to where am I today, fills me with appreciation and happiness for where I am sitting now. Thank you Molly for creating the slide show.

It was the perfect way to end my day.