Once we arrived, we checked out the cabin and started playing games. Later on in the night, me and a buddy decided to take a dip in the lake. I remember throwing my suit on and stepping down the stairs. I then ran down the dock, remember looking at a boat launch to the side of me, thinking that the water was deep enough. I was the first one to reach the end of the dock and dove in.
For the next couple of seconds I must have blacked out. When I finally came to I was face down in the water unable to move my limbs, sucking in water through my nose and wishing it was air. It was very confusing and frustrating to me to not be able to move anything. My friend Tony jumped in the water and attempted to pull me up onto the dock. He said that the only reason he saw me in the dark water was because I was wearing white swim trunks.
Once up on the dock, I remember a friend telling me to quit playing around as I told him that I couldn't move my limbs or feel my body. I asked for a towel to put under my neck because I was extreme pain only in my neck. Everything from that point on gets pretty blurry for me.
Until I got to the ICU. My dad was there when I arrived and I remember looking up to him and telling him multiple times that I was sorry and that it was a long dock. My mom and sister were rushing back from girl's weekend at the cabin. For some reason I remember that it was a struggle for the staff to take my contacts out. Honestly, hours are lost from that point on.
After my surgery, I awoke only to have a large tube down my throat that I desperately wanted to yank out. I kept moving it around with my tongue as the nurses yelled at me to leave it alone. That tube stayed in for a week. They told me I was going to get a trache put in and that it would be less painful.
As I became more coherent, the first thing a nurse told me was that I would only ever be able to shrug my shoulders and that I would be dependant on a ventilator to breathe for the rest of my life. That is when it really hit me that my injury was serious and that this was really happening to me.
It was very frustrating when people came to visit me because I couldn't communicate with them, swallow, eat, drink, or move anything but my face. Over and over I had family and friends come into my room, see me, cry, and tell me to hang in there. I wanted to say thank you to every person that visited but I wasn't physically capable. I later learned a system of communication by clicking my tongue against my cheek. This was extremely frustrating for me and my family.
We watched every movie you could think of for the rest of my time in the ICU. The decision was then made to move me to Craig Hospital in Colorado for rehabilitation.
I had no idea what my future would hold.
Me in the ICU
You know Bubba, I was curious to know the details surrounding your accident. Naturally I had the general outline, but no specifics. What a harrowing ordeal to have to suffer through. I can't imagine. I don't think anyone could imagine what it's like to be face down in the water unable to breathe. (Actually, I HAVE been face down unable to breathe myself a time or two, but usually copious amounts of tequila was involved.)
ReplyDeleteIt comes as no suprise a nurse yelled at you for trying to jerk your trache out. That's what nurses do, yell. I outta know, my x wife is a nurse.
You know Bubba, I work with a lot of younger guys around your age. Apprentice Steamfitters for the most part. If I have said it once, I have said it a hundred times;
"All these young guys wanna do is screw off, smoke bud and listen to Pearl Jam bitch about some dipshit who goes postal in school. It's like an anthem to these slackers."
And true to form,I would be wrong. You have balls the size of King Kong on you Bubba. Serious. Keep up the hard work. It's not going to be easy, and I am not telling you something you dont already know. Just keep pushing. Dig.
As for not knowing what your future would hold, try not to dwell on that too much. NOBODY knows what their future will hold. You are no different than anyone else in that respect. Take it one day at a time. (Such a trite saying, you would think I could do better than "One day at a time" wouldn't you?)
Someday I want to hear you WALKED in that ICU ward and tipped over nurse Ratched's tray full of bed pans. Full bed pans.
Alright. I have polluted your blog enough for one evening.
DONT QUIT. EVER.
Thomas Demma.